Five Meaningful Experiences to Say "Yes" to After College
Are you the type of person to often look back on certain experiences and give them special significance?
I definitely am, and looking back on the first few years after graduating from college, I can pinpoint certain moments where my path was slightly adjusted, I acknowledged a newfound perspective or when unexpected opportunities were unveiled. These moments left me feeling reinvigorated, playing a prominent role in my little successes during my early twenties.
There’s something I need to be honest about here: I’m not sure if school prepares many of us for how unstructured life feels like once you graduate. It becomes more difficult to measure progress without the black-and-white affirmation of grades. While I didn’t realize it in the moment, I’ve always followed a path that feels more instinctual than logical inside and outside of school. During those first couple of years post-graduation, there were times that my life felt utterly disorganized or even stagnant, but it retrospect my clamoring for direction was absolutely formational.
This post is for the journeys beyond graduation that feel anything but linear. Here are five experiences that I said “yes” to after college and were pivotal in my path’s direction. Maybe they’ll help you find your footing too.
Contributing My Skills for Free
I recognize that not everyone has the time nor the financial ability to contribute their talents or labor for free, so this tip absolutely comes from a place of privilege. But, looking back, I’m so thankful I said “yes” to giving my time without expecting financial compensation.
For instance, I volunteered at my college town’s CSA developing a seasonal produce guide for the community – and while I could have spent that time freelancing or working, it exposed me to important issues about food insecurity, health disparities and sustainable eating. That experience led to more down the road, including volunteering with a nonprofit here in Los Angeles, inspiring one of my journalism capstones and writing for a food magazine. I wouldn’t have been qualified for any of those latter opportunities if I hadn’t said yes to the CSA in the first place.
I also worked as a freelance writer for several years, with little or no pay for my hard work. Though, I realized it was valuable in other ways. Freelancing was my first foray into the journalism world outside of school. It allowed me to build a portfolio of clips that I’m proud of and to network within a community of talented writers and editors. When I was eventually presented with paid opportunities (and they do come, eventually!), I was even more grateful and motivated to put my best foot forward.
Learning to Identify Healthy and Toxic Relationships
A hard truth: you’re not going to stay friends with everyone you met in college – or, for that matter, at any point in your life. I’ve slowly become accustomed to the thinking (I certainly haven’t always felt this way) that some people are suited to different parts of your life, coming and going as the relationship’s natural lifecycle waxes and wanes. Sometimes this means that the friendship simply morphs into something different, or maybe it requires ending the relationship altogether. Ending a friendship isn’t easy, especially if you’re close. It’s essentially a breakup. But moving on from relationships that didn’t feel right anymore has always led me to new, stronger and more fulfilling ones.
It’s helped me to tune in with how I’m feeling after social time. I do this by asking myself a three primary questions:
Do I feel disrespected?
Do I feel insecure?
Do I feel drained?
If I answer yes to any of those, it’s probably best to re-evaluate my relationship. I totally recognize that not all relationships are so cut and dry – we’re all drawn to people for different reasons. But I’m learning to tune in to that inner voice. If you continually find yourself exhausted rather than energized after interacting with someone, perhaps creating distance yields the best results for both parties.
Discovering What “Self-Care” Really Means
If there’s anything I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is self-care doesn’t always look like massages and luxurious skin care and bubble baths. Self-care is accessible to anyone, whether or not you have disposable income or time to spare. I’ve realized self-care looks a lot less glamorous – but has much more of an impact on wellbeing than any face mask can deliver.
Instead, self-care means ending toxic relationships (hello experience #2). It means seeing a therapist or a doctor when you need to. It could be as simple as cooking yourself healthy, nutritious meals, or sitting in a park and letting the sun warm your skin. Self-care is really the tiny things that we do for ourselves to feel a little better throughout the day.
Finding Mentors
I’ve been extremely fortunate to have encountered mentors through both unexpected and more traditional ways. I have mentors that I turn to for professional advice. There are others I look to for personal growth and self-improvement. Some I simply admire, who encourage me to embrace the better parts of myself. I’ve said “yes” time-and-time again to accepting mentorship from a whole variety of people.
In my opinion, mentors don’t always have to be older. It can be anyone who is willing to share a wealth of life experiences regardless of age. I’ve looked up to people who are the same age as me, or even younger. There’s something to be said for enjoying mentorship outside the strict boundaries of age.
Setting Aside Some Savings
Leave it to a true Capricorn to end on a practical and materialistic note. Let’s talk about finances. Saying “yes” to getting in control of my money (and living within my means) has allowed me to pursue new opportunities and live independently. I’ve been following the 50-30-20 rule, which allocates 50% of income to needs (rent, food, insurance), 30% to wants (dinners out, “fun” purchases) and 20% goes into savings. This structure provides me with a little bit of a safety net in case the car breaks down or I get sick — or it’s set aside for some bigger, future investment — while still allowing me plenty of financial freedom.
What would you add to or eliminate from this list?
Perhaps your list is fits snugly into a different phase of your life — or perhaps you’re the type who avoids lists altogether. Who knows, I might be totally wrong in embarking on this exercise in the first place. But right now, I can’t help but feel there’s some importance in appreciating and reflecting on what certain experiences do for our growth. I don’t think there’s a neatly laid-out path for each one of us, but I absolutely believe that certain experiences can alter the outcome.
I feel that my life after college has been one long series of getting lost and re-discovering my path. Saying “yes” to these experiences – and following my gut instincts – were necessary to reaffirm my priorities and direction.
